Compliments are a wonderful way of authentically brightening up someone’s day. And as 24th January – otherwise known as Compliment Day – has been and gone it’s the perfect time to revisit this great topic!
Are you a frequent complimenter?
When was the last time you paid someone a compliment?
Some people find this comes easily, others less so. Sometimes we forget to thank those that work hard, rather than telling them how great they did.
Maybe about their excellent work…
Or your parents delicious cooking…
Or their patience in a trying time…
No one wants to come off as unthankful, so why not tell someone their help is appreciated and compliment them on an aspect of their work?
But it’s more than this…
Remember when your co-worker complimented you on your new hair style? Maybe they told you that you look happier and a little more outgoing, or they told you your perfume smelled amazing.
How did you feel after?
Did you smile and feel chuffed?
What about following a compliment given? Yes, that too!
An authentic compliment brings a smile to the face and a boost to self-esteem and confidence, making another’s day a little better.
Don’t limit your compliments to those you know.
You could give a compliment to the barista who prepared your coffee, put a smile on the face of the cashier who scanned and bagged your weekly groceries, and even thank your postie for delivering on a sweltering day. You not only make them feel better but you also build the bonds of humanity, and strengthen connections of those who interact with one another occasionally.
The research gives us insights into just how this is so…
Mark Wall and his research team noted, “Therapeutic compliments have proven to be highly effective means of motivating clients, while at the same time increasing therapeutic leverage.” Oooh…
Compliments improve performance. While some teachers and parents may find this incredibly obvious, a study performed by Professor Norihiro Sadato proved what they already know. He noted, “To the brain, receiving a compliment is as much a social reward as being rewarded money.”
Compliments engender warmth, compassion and care… . These are critical elements to human happiness. So…
Give yourself a pat on the back too.
Everyone should include giving compliments into their daily routine, so why not start with yourself? Giving compliments doesn’t just mean giving them to other people. Give yourself a pat on the back for the simple things, like getting your gym workout done like you planned, tell yourself you did very well with cooking healthily for the week, and congratulate yourself for not spending money on eating out.
What are the rules for complimenting?
A compliment can – and should – go deeper than appearance. Think about what you really admire about someone. They’ll smile from ear to ear when you compliment them on something they’re proud of: a flower garden, their cooking, maybe even their handicrafts.
Focus on achievements and efforts.
Be authentic. This is crucial. People have an inbuilt BS monitor, and can (usually) see falsehood a mile away. So…
Don’t over compliment someone or else you’ll come off as disingenuous.
Remember to only compliment someone when it’s warranted.
Don’t aim to compliment to seem nice.
Now, keep your eyes peeled and your voice ready for your next opportunity to share a compliment.
And when someone compliments you? Smile graciously and simply say, thank you!
Dr. Rebecca Harwin
Chiropractor & Multi-book Author